Thursday, March 16, 2006
"You are the only thing I have that still makes sense...."
After all the drama, I am beginning to realise that I should be truly contented and grateful for what I have right now. I nearly lost him and that scared me so much that I guess I should really treasure even the smallest of gestures instead of demanding for something that may be too hard for him to fulfill. I have to admit that I was very insecure. I still am, in fact. But I am working on it...albeit slowly. Because of my insecurities, I lost my faith in him....to the extent of accusing him of doing something that he never did. I was so unreasonable. I was so ugly. And I hated myself for reacting in such a manner. Cos that is not how good friends should treat each other....right? :)
*sigh*
Yesterday was his birthday...I wanted to email him but a mental block stopped me. Which was good since I may have ended talking rubbish instead...hahaha...so to compensate for that failed email attempt, I smsed him instead....and I could just imagine what my mobile bill would look like for this month....hahahaha.....becos of that silly misunderstanding, we had been exchanging smses like nobody's business...like as if my dad was the head of Singtel or something....n one global sms costs $0.30...so multiply that by XXXX number of smses and what do u get??? A bankrupt Atika laaaaa!!!!!
*See Jay?? Wouldnt it be cheaper if u just hop onto a plane and come back to Singapore?????*
*grrrr*
Ok ok....I should be contented......grateful...thankful.......cos at least we still get to communicate with each other despite of the distance....but then again, I still hope that he will come back soon...*sobzsobz*
But whatever it is, what is more important is that we will never lose each other's friendship.....no matter what.
:)
`iRained
i loved @ 4:18 PM
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