Wednesday, May 24, 2006
"It is not the distance that matters, but it is the love between 2 souls that will tie them together..."
My favourite quote from my favourite guy...:)
I love you...and I miss you badly too....
*sigh*
Hmm, why am I sighing??
I am happy....very, very happy....I feel very blessed actually. Life couldnt have been better. And I am not talking about my job. Even if my job sucks (which doesnt, actually...hehehe...i like my job...n i'm really beginning to enjoy it!! hehehe!)it doesnt matter...cos he is here.
Ok, technically (or physically...hehehe) he is not here...but I can feel him...he has never really left my side...cos he is always there...always in my heart...and sometimes, when I close my eyes I can still hear his voice, his laughter...I can see his face, his warm smile, his beautiful eyes...God, I miss him so much....I wanna see him right nowwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehe...:P
And to hear from him that he misses me too...and to hear him using the terms 'we' and 'us' all the time...what he wants to do with me when he's back...that really means the world to me...and I told him yesterday about my wish to go to this place with him when he's back....it is a place which some of u guys have been bugging me to go with u all....but i'm sorry guys....when i finally go there, it will be with him....i promised him (and myself..hehehe) that already.....hehehehehe.....and where/what that place is??? Secret for now.....hehehehehe! (cos i didnt even divulge it to jay....i told him that i wanna keep it a secret for now...and i dont want to say it here in case he reads this post!!! hahaha!)
It will be a year since he left in a few more months time....but our friendship is still going strong till today...and i've never been more in love with him than right now....he just makes me so happy these days....hehehe....*love u*
God, i can go on and on and on....gushing about this significant wonder of mine....but i shall stop now cos the last thing i wanna do is to make u all puke on your keyboard....hahahaha.....ok, ciaoz guys....n thanks for all ur emotional support as i go thru life without him by my side....and thanks for tolerating a love-sick Atika.....hehehe.
*hugs*
`iRained
i loved @ 9:18 AM
| drop me a m@il here |
4 comments:
wow..no more goth tika.. what a surprise for me to see a change of blog-theme hahaha.. sorry I haven't been updating my blog so I forgot about others' blog cos the address are all bookmarked in my blog..neway, u sound so love-sick hahahaha... glad you're happy...so when can we have our crab-boules with my moghty joe young again? *wink wink*
wah, nice nick...now, you sound like the gothic one!! hehe! nway, hope ur Spain plans are going smoothly...:)i am v sorry but i think i can only resume our TCC dates after i'm back from Sabah...cos now, every penny counts! u understand right??hehehe....i still have to get my hiking boots...n for some reason, i'm itching for a new digicam...makin berlobang la poket ni...hehehe...n yah,i do sound a bit love-sick huh? sorry..i was just on a high after receiving his msg...:Pnway, call me if u feel like chatting ya....miss u lots!take care!
nt gothic, trying to keep my bohemian spirit alive wth tht nick haha.. I understand abt the tcc thingy..neway I'm nt goin to Spain anymore, Italy instead..so sad..feel free to sms/call me k..tk care
Wow! Italia!!I just hope u will enjoy urself k...
post a comment
Monday, May 22, 2006
I spent this morning in a very atypical fashion. Usually, my Mondays would be spent in bed...yes, the whole day I would be in bed..I would sleep till noon, check my emails, take a shower, watch tv till 4pm, take a short nap...and only at 7pm would I be totally refreshed and rejuvenated...but guess what? I actually woke up at 8am and walked to the post office to pay my bills. And I realised what a beautiful morning it was...so, I went home, grabbed my mobile and mp3 player, put on my cap and left...the cool morning breeze was practically shouting at me to get out and take a walk around the neighbourhood. And I did.
I started from East Sussex Road (or was it Avenue??hahaha), walked towards Jelita, passed Henry Park Pri School, walked along Mount Sinai, reached Ghim Moh...and I continued walking to Holland before I turned towards East Sussex once again....so all in all, I circled the entire Mount Sinai-Ghim Moh-Holland neighbourhood....hehehe...and I covered everything in 1 hour....cos I really walked very,very slowly.....:P And for some reason, I felt like tearing up as I was walking....maybe becos I am PMSing right now....or cos of the music in my ears (my mp3 is loaded with sad love songs...hahahaha)...or maybe it was just the beautiful greenery around me....I just felt so melancholic as I was walking....and for that one hour, I had a lot of thoughts in my mind...
Work...the children....my impending Mount Kinabalu trip...him...
*sigh*
How long has it been since he left? 9 months? 10 months? Sometimes, I dont even feel like keeping track anymore...cos doing that is not going to make him come back to my side this very instant...and I dont like to stress him out by asking him when he will come back to Singapore...cos I dont want to distract him from his studies....I dont want to make him unhappy...I dont want him to miss Singapore too much....so, I keep quiet...I pepper my messages with cheerful words, desperately trying to hide my real feelings...I try to sound optimist for his sake. For my sanity's sake too, I guess...:)
But sometimes it shows...and I cannot help it.
Some days, I would be really happy. I would laugh, I have a certain bounce in my step...I just feel good, u know....But some days, I would just feel damn shitty. I feel like I just want to jump. And I will secretly cry in the dark. I would have a relapse. I would start missing him like crazy again. I crumble. And it definitely shows.
I cant help it. I live for him. It is his love which is sustaining my life right now. He is my energy. He is my universe. He is what I live for.
I love him.
*sigh*
See, even when I said that I would not talk about him anymore, I would end up talking about him even more....
*double sigh*
Anyway, Happy Birthday to the May babies....to my sis who turned 29 today, well I hope you will stop being so bimbotic all the time....hahahahaha...but no matter what, I cannot wish for a better sister than you...be happy always ya! Cant wait to scale Mount Kinabalu with u...!!! Banzai!!!!! And to my mates Nad and Nisa....Nad, although we have not met for some time now, you will always be in my heart! We should meet up soon ya!! And Nisa...no matter how many friends I make in this lifetime, you will always be one of my bestest pals...you stuck by me for 3 years and I wanna tell u dat I wouldnt be able to go thru 3 years in JI without you and the other gals...only you could tolerate my bad temperedness....you saw my ugliest side yet you still wanna be my friend....and I really appreciate that....thanks ya...*hugs*
Well, lets end this post on a high note ya...even when black clouds loom over my head, I know that the love from the people around me will lift my spirits again....my family, friends and my significant wonder....I love all of you!!!!!!!
:)
p/s: Ryan is out of SYTYCD...*sobz* But if that will put him out of his misery, then I am happy for him...and I know that with or without the show, Ryan will continue to dance...Ryan, you rock and you dont need a tv show to tell you that!! *woohoo*
pp/s:Peterpan is coming to Singapore for a showcase at Hard Rock Cafe next month! And the worse thing is, I will not be in Singapore!!!!!!!! I will still be in Sabah!!! *sobz sobz* Anybody going??? Cos if you are, I need you to pass my love letter to Uki.....hahahahahahahahahaha!! *I'm joking!!!!*
`iRained
i loved @ 9:26 PM
| drop me a m@il here |
1 comments:
best regards, nice info pharmacy mitsubishi Asi slot ethernet cards http://www.chrysler-car-stereo.info/north_face_triclimate_jacket.html Air conditioners ductless canada Arkansas fayetteville accident accutane law site new zealand wheelchairs companies Lesbians with anal beads renault formule 1 celebrex+bextra Andrew lang dust jacket fairy dresses Aricular therapy stop smoking Printer inkjet refill kit Cataract surgery pennsylvania Portable hair dryers arizona bextra New at honda Valtrex drug safety during early pregnancy
post a comment
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
:Dedicated to my significant wonder...:
It is always hard for me,
To talk about you to my friends...
It is not that I am, for whatever crazy reason...
Ashamed of you...
But it is because
No words would be enough
To describe you
What you mean to me
How beautiful
How precious
You are to me...
It would be unfair to talk about you
When no words would be sufficient
To paint you
In your entirety...
That's why, from today onwards
I will try not to talk about you anymore
Because nobody would understand anyway
The beauty that is in you...
The beauty which for whatever crazy reason,
You allowed me to see...
`iRained
i loved @ 9:33 PM
| drop me a m@il here |
0 comments:
post a comment
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Last Thursday was spent hanging out with my darling buddies - Sue, Carolyn and Charmaine....we had dinner at FEP and walked over to Cineleisure's TCC before heading for home....and gals, I had so much fun!!! Even if all we did that day was sat and stare at each other, I would still say that I had fun....cos u know, what was more important to me was that we had the chance to meet up and see each other again after so long....:) And silly me forgot to charge my mobile the day before...and that nearly resulted in an Atika-no show...hahaha....Orchard MRT Station was soooo packed (well, it was the start of a long weekend...)and I kept praying to God that somehow, they would see me in the midst of the crowd....and as I was busy craning my neck, hoping to see at least one of them, I kept getting interrupted by lost tourists and surveyors....hehehehe.....:P But despite all the drama, the day went well....we could have just chatted the whole day away if not for the fact that all 4 of us were pretty shagged....and broke too...hehehe....well, I am sure that there will be more dates to come....right, gals???
With highs, come lows.....
I stumbled upon Ryan's blog the other day. And by the time I finished reading it, I was overcame by a sudden wave of emotions which had been dormant for some time. Without realising it, tears were streaming down my cheeks...and for what reasons, I am not sure why....maybe it was the tale of his tragic love story...or the way he poetically expressed himself....that night, I saw a side of Ryan which I never thought existed. That is the problem with television...you only see one side of a person - the side which the producers think the viewers should see. But his blog...it's his...it contains his own train of thoughts....his story....a slice of his life....and u cant fake that.
I think what touched me the most was the fact that even the most perfect fairytale can turn awry...love can morph into something which barely resembles it. It can disappear over time. Where the hell has the notion of 'everlasting love' gone to????????? Why cant people love each other for the rest of their lives???? Where is the love, man????????????
I've seen my fair share of bad love stories around me. And it sucks...it makes you become even more sceptical about the whole romantic notion of falling in love and growing old together. I wouldnt be able to take it if my loved one suddenly wakes up and realises that he no longer has any feelings for me. Or if all we do when we meet is fight over the slightest things...
But then again, there are lots of grey-haired couples out there who are still madly in love with each other...just the other day, I saw an aged Caucasian couple holding hands as they windowshopped....so maybe, I shouldnt lose my faith just yet.....right???
`iRained
i loved @ 1:44 PM
| drop me a m@il here |
0 comments:
post a comment
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
So You Think You Can Dance??
err...I dont think I can....hurhurhur...ok, I CAN dance but I take a llooooonnnngggg time to get the steps...I will always be the one going left when people are going right....hahahaha
I think I've danced in public only twice in my lifetime. The first time was when I was in kindergarten...if I'm not wrong, it was for my batch's graduation ceremony at the community centre (I have a pic of that performance on my Friendster...if ur curious...hahahaha). Second time....that Chingay performance of course!! We collaborated with the Hokkaido peeps for the Yosakoi Soran dance....and did we rock?? OF COURSE WE DID!!!!!!! *woohoo*
So, wassup with all these talk about dancing?????
Well, i've been hit by the SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE? bug!!!!! One of the coolest programme so far....and the contestants are really inspiring too....*sigh* If only I can dance like them....:P
And I was so disappointed when Craig got booted out of the competition....he was much better than Jamile definitely....not to mention cuter as well!! hehehe....plus, that washboard stomach is TO DIE FOR!!!!!!!!!!!! *swoons* But heck...he's gone....and guess to whom my attention has shifted to???
*guess laa.....*
Ok ok....I think some of you may have guessed it la....hehehehe...
My latest SYTUCD? eye candy and object of desire is......
*are you ready???*
p/s: he's mine....so hands off...this is a warning....kekeke....
ok.....here you go....
RYAN CONDEFIRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's so cute (bad on the outside but sweet in the inside...I like!!!) and most importantly, he can dance....(yeah...like as if that is important to you....hohohoho)..but seriously, 2 weeks of Ryan shaking his booty to salsa and latin dance is ENOUGH to convert any girl into Ryanism...hehehehe....ahhh.....RYAAAANNNNN..!!!And guess what? Ryan has something in common with Jay...hehehehe.....well,he's a pinoy too....:) (now, I like Ryan even more...hohohoho..*winkwink*)
I'm so happy....kekeke...i mean, it has been so long since I went mad over a guy like this...(u know, guys who do exist but they do not exist in my world...hehehe)....so exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope I'll dream of Ryan 'Yummylicious' Condefiro tonite....hehehehe.....*swoons*
*Goldfish is stuck in her fangirl mode and she cant snap out of it....ahhh, minna-san tatsukete!!!!!!!!!!*
`iRained
i loved @ 9:04 PM
| drop me a m@il here |
0 comments:
post a comment
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Like my new skin? :) Well, i've been planning to change it for some time now cos dont u think that the previous "My World is Empty" skin is just a tad too angsty??? And I just wanted to have a blogskin which reflects the inner calmness and happiness which I am enjoying right now...hehehe...cos yeah, i'm really happy right now....with him around, everything seems right...even if the whole world turns its back on me, I know that he will still be with me...:) *sigh* Life has never been this good for sooooooo long.....hehehe..
So, what have I been up to lately? well, i've been pretty busy with my preparations for the Sabah trip next month...been climbing the stairs to the 15th floor for 3 days now..my fastest record so far is 5 mins up and down 15 floors...not bad right?? But of course, my legs still get a tad wobbly by the 7th floor...and the pulling pain on your thigh muscles can really break any stair climbing newbie's spirit...but i guess i must be masochistic cos i actually like the pain...hurhurhur
My sis and i have also been doing our shopping and i managed to get a very nice winter jacket in lime green...and the best thing was, it was within my budget....plus, sis and i agreed that no matter what, we must climb in style...hehehe...so that's why we are investing in climbing gear that looks good....very vain right?? hahaha...
We dropped by Takashimaya y'day cos sis wanted to visit the Watsons there (cos its the biggest and we may be able to find lotsa stuffs there...like disposable underwear...hahahah) She also dragged me to that FOX store to get her polo tees...and not surprisingly, she ended up going gaga over this Filipino guy who was working there...*tsk tsk tsk* and she still can ask me who is cuter, him or Jay.......*rolls eyes* Like duh....of course MY Jay is cuter...well, at least to me.....hehehe
*sigh* i miss him so much...because of my Sabah trip, i told myself that i must really cut or minimise my daily expenses....for example, use the internet to communicate with Jay instead of smsing him cos the former is definitely the cheaper option...but i just couldnt help it!!! On fri, after reading his message, i felt like i just had to sms him immmediately to tell him that i missed him too...n my gut feeling tells me that Jay is feeling kinda down lately...but he's not saying anything though....God, how i wish i am there with him....
*sigh*
`iRained
i loved @ 8:16 PM
| drop me a m@il here |
1 comments:
thanks Sue!! Yup, can't wait to see u and the gals this Thursday too! We have so much to catch up with!! hehehe....well, c u on Thurs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
post a comment